A quarantine though

Sometimes you wanna get yourself closed in a way no one to be able to see or contact you. The power of loneliness strikes as a lightning when doubts and disappointments appear in your life. It gets harder to accept yourself and believe that there's a way to be happy. All that joy that you thought that might reach to you disappears, once you let yourself defeated.
During my lifetime, i've got so, so many doubts, so many heart crushes that I cannot count as a clear number. I had to be able to step it up and continue to try. The modern technology has affected my life in a way that destroyed my hope in humanity, after I've realized that I'm alone even though in the virtual world I've connected with thousands of people of any kind of age. I realized that I don't belong in such world, in that world that breaks my real one down. I'm walking in to many worlds to make my real one counts. I stepped on my own rules, the ones that i will never let myself get hurt again. Just to attract the attention of people to offer me a living in a beautiful world i was thinking that i'lll fit in. I didn't knew that the world of humans it is such a cruel and jealous place. Giving chances to so little and the biggest part left to live with the regret of not being good enough! I am one of them! And for sorry, i still have to struggle to break down the frozen hearts to be able to reach out! I am a composer, a songwriter, someone that offers emotion and hope and I am one of the people that doesn't belongs in a place to beg for attention. I am unique, strong and caring for everyone. Yet is so difficult to reach out! I have the feeling that one day I might stop singing for good and will live my life like it never happened. I don't wanna be cruel, but I've been ignored since day 1 when I started to sing in a church. Today i'm far away from that place, am I going to be enough for you people? That's a thing that travels in circles in my head, every time when someone tells me that I'm not good enough. I got immune against some opinions, but still have that shadow that cannot push it away.
Just wanna ask you, my kind readers, am i not good enough to move forward with my career that doesn't really exists yet? Will you be here for me every step of the way? I guess this will find it out soon enough.

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